I thought I would not write about the terror attacks as so much has already been written and shown about it everywhere; it would relatively make my post less significant. However I would not have ‘felt good’ unless I posted this one!
My recent visit to Mumbai made me visit the Taj. Though I have been there numerous times, I wanted to visit it again. This may be because for reasons unknown, Mumbai has become a significant part of me! My 2-month stay here has inculcated in me a sense of belongingness for the city. As I reached South Mumbai, the desperation in me to see Taj started increasing. How would the place where I used to hang out, look like now? Is it really as burnt as shown by media? Would the birds still be chirping there? As these thoughts kept revolving in my mind, I realized I was standing besides Taj. However we were not allowed to pass through the front as the main road was blocked and the renovation work going on. Even the Gateway was closed.
I stood besides the historic monument and could not take my eyes off it. I kept thinking about bloodshed, cruel killing, guns, commandoes and what not… and was wondering what would I have done had I been at this place during the attacks!
And as I stood by the side recalling what happened, a sudden wave of terror passed within me. I started feeling so vulnerable! What if some guys come here and actually shoot me? Is my life so unpredictable? Why am I not safe in my own country?
Suddenly there were tears in my eyes, thou’ unnoticed by my friends! I wondered why one needs to kill and what is the point in killing innocent people? And the 100-odd who died - what about their families? What happens to them now? What about children who have lost their fathers and mothers? What about parents who have lost their sons and daughters? What about all those people living in the city unsure about their family, about friends, unsure about their own safety?
I thereon saw many people coming with their families to have a glimpse of the historic place. They stood besides me sipping coffee and discussing about terrific attacks. And me, still in my state of fear, started looking at people with suspicion…. How many bags is that person carrying? Who are they looking at? What are they talking about?
Random thoughts started building within me. How can people continue staying the same way? Are we ourselves responsible for the trauma we going through?
I feel miserable and extremely sad. I felt the way a child feels when her mother is not doing too good. This is the country that took care of me and kept me safe. I love her tremendously and can’t bear the pain.
I know Mumbai will bounce back to her old, raunchy, metrosexual, speed but what till then...
My recent visit to Mumbai made me visit the Taj. Though I have been there numerous times, I wanted to visit it again. This may be because for reasons unknown, Mumbai has become a significant part of me! My 2-month stay here has inculcated in me a sense of belongingness for the city. As I reached South Mumbai, the desperation in me to see Taj started increasing. How would the place where I used to hang out, look like now? Is it really as burnt as shown by media? Would the birds still be chirping there? As these thoughts kept revolving in my mind, I realized I was standing besides Taj. However we were not allowed to pass through the front as the main road was blocked and the renovation work going on. Even the Gateway was closed.
I stood besides the historic monument and could not take my eyes off it. I kept thinking about bloodshed, cruel killing, guns, commandoes and what not… and was wondering what would I have done had I been at this place during the attacks!
And as I stood by the side recalling what happened, a sudden wave of terror passed within me. I started feeling so vulnerable! What if some guys come here and actually shoot me? Is my life so unpredictable? Why am I not safe in my own country?
Suddenly there were tears in my eyes, thou’ unnoticed by my friends! I wondered why one needs to kill and what is the point in killing innocent people? And the 100-odd who died - what about their families? What happens to them now? What about children who have lost their fathers and mothers? What about parents who have lost their sons and daughters? What about all those people living in the city unsure about their family, about friends, unsure about their own safety?
I thereon saw many people coming with their families to have a glimpse of the historic place. They stood besides me sipping coffee and discussing about terrific attacks. And me, still in my state of fear, started looking at people with suspicion…. How many bags is that person carrying? Who are they looking at? What are they talking about?
Random thoughts started building within me. How can people continue staying the same way? Are we ourselves responsible for the trauma we going through?
I feel miserable and extremely sad. I felt the way a child feels when her mother is not doing too good. This is the country that took care of me and kept me safe. I love her tremendously and can’t bear the pain.
I know Mumbai will bounce back to her old, raunchy, metrosexual, speed but what till then...
<quote>How can people continue staying the same way? Are we ourselves responsible for the trauma we going through?<unquote>
ReplyDeleteI am not sure who is responsible for the trauma we are going through - the rational fear put into our minds by the "friendly" neighbours or our shaken faith in our own system , but yes all emotions stem for a single source - our minds.You can choose to play the recording over and over again and never come out of it or pretend it never happened and move on. Pretending is the hard part...but for a common redi-wala who is more worried if he will be able to bring food to his children tonight, there are greater issues to worry about which need his immediate attention.Thats how life is. Take the hits and move on -- but don't forget who hit you !! Mumbai will bounce back for sure. Lets hope the transition is smooth....
oyye saniaa,mujhe pata hi nehin tha tu taj mein regular visitor hai...next time pakka bulana :)...
ReplyDeleteI am an quintessential Mumbaite. Yes! Mumbai will bounce BACK.
ReplyDeleteAfter tours, when I come back to Mumbai, I exclaim'I am back home'.