Thursday, April 23, 2009


Its been 4 months now I have had the same old routine. Wake up by 7.30, take the first bus to office at 8.30am, change 2 buses, reach by 9.30, work till 7pm, take the return bus, change 2 buses, reach back by 9, have dinner and finally hit the bed!!!!

Yes, that’s the short summary of my life since Jan 2009… Work while studying has been a real tough job… Staying in the hostel, working while others enjoy their last few MBA days… Rushing back to relax while others going out for partying… People around have had actually started pitying me for no work-life balance!

But as always, I am absolutely not complaining!!!

Though I’ve missed freaking out in the last few MBA days, I’ve had my own share of happiness! It was initially tough to handle work with studies, however I’ve been strong enough to cope both of it together! I’m not being boastful of myself but am really proud of the way I have spent these months!

One of the things I specifically liked was the commute time. I was and am still traveling by road for almost 3 hours a day. Its tough changing buses every 20 minutes but as I said, am not complaining!! According to me, this is the most valuable time I spend with myself. Always pre-occupied with work or friends, there is hardly any time to think, feel, analyze, and rethink about my daily actions and its repercussions. It's sometimes hard to remember who you really are when every day you're faced with ordinary life and you're pulled some way or the other by different people in different situations.

Sitting in the bus, I look out at people movements. The pace, anxiety, hardness and the spirit with which everyone moves around encourage my inner strength! This is the moment when my inner-self realizes that there is a lot more to give and take from life. The inner ‘me’ provides the motivation to put that ‘extra effort’ every single day!

Unaffected by the noise around, this is the time I peep in through myself to understand all the good and bad deeds done by me. I realize my actions I have to build on or let go off in order to succeed in every single task. And my inner self gives me the comfort in knowing that simple lessons in the right direction can help clear obstacles in front of you. It becomes easier for me to face my fears, anxieties and insecurities because I give myself the permission and strength to experience these things; it becomes easier for me to act with honesty and openness.

The phenomenon called ‘Observant Learning’, I have also discovered lotta new things about the local culture!! So much to observe, so much to understand and learn especially when one is outside the native city!

My family and friends are continuously pushing me towards taking a place somewhere near my office and avoid long commutes but somehow I have never been able to explain them the goodness behind it. I know I have to shift soon because of the hostel guidelines but I would always cherish the time that I spent with myself!

Would like to end with the a quote:
Self observation is essential to self growth. You must first understand the motives for your own actions in order to understand others’

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Maximus…. the Puppy!

Introduction: Meet Maximus, the magnanimous dog, now a two-year-old puppy; one of the world's gentlest creatures

Nickname: Maxo

Age: Two Years

Breed: Labrador

Personality: Bright, sweet, loving, energetic.

Likes: People attention, praises, food, AC and bitches.

Dislikes: Bathing, Phus-Phus (the tick spray), noise and stressful situations

Favorite Toy: Slingshot ball

Why am I introducing him is for the reason that he helped me let go off my dog-phobia. I used to be extremely scared of dogs, particularly the strays on the streets of the bustling Indian cities, especially once I saw one biting my friend. I always used to walk few feet from any dog with the fear of being bitten, however since I’ve met Maxo, my fear has turned into a new-found love and respect for dogs. Well, Maxo is none other than one of my friend’s dog whose place I once went for a stay.

My first ever encounter with dogs was when I was barely 5-6 years old. She was my neighbour’s sweet lil bitch; very protective of the kids at home, but scared the heck out of relatives and friends. Thus my companionship with her never grew! Moreover, none in my family and friends’ circle ever had a dog. So I have always been aloof from them.

The day I met Maxo, it was initially scary for me. I was told that he is a puppy, but as I saw this huge, big dog, I was all frightened!!! He came running towards me and I felt as if I’m gone lose my life… The laptop which I was holding simply fell down from my shoulders [Luckily it was my friend’s :) ]

The time after that was simply amazing… Maxo was friendly to me; got toys asking me to play with him! The various interactions showed that he was treated as the smallest son of the family and was pampered like anything! I understood different emotions of this loving creature and realized that though he walks vigorously, eats voraciously and enjoys life, he is extremely innocent and harmless!

I wondered how dogs can be a source of happiness in the family.. Its like having a baby in your family whom you just cant stop admiring! I learnt that as is case with children, the family upbringing also impacts the way dogs behave and I want to appreciate and recognize such families who are gracious enough to love and feed dogs.

However, a thought always tickles me, ‘If dogs are so lovable, why is the word used in a negative connotation!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Thoughts!!!

Its been a month since I have posted anything on my blog. I wanted to write. Yes I wanted to, but the right words just never came up!
It had become difficult for me to write down my thoughts with right set of words and right mix of emotions. And if I have to blame someone, LIFE is the reason for all this. Life to me is not what I thought it was. It is beyond my imagination. The existence of struggle had shaken out my faith foundation in God. The depression had constantly hit me all over. I took a long break, went back home, looked within myself and realized that God has allowed the failures and loneliness to strike on us, because it is through our failures and sadness that draws us closer to Him spiritually..
He showed me a light of hope and here I am… Normal, sane!

Recently, my mentor (the motivation behind starting my own blog) asked me the reason for not blogging..
I was stuck.. how do I say it is my depressed state of mind! So here it went..
‘Hmm..Well.. Iv been bit busy these days…’
‘I have been working the whole day and to top it, have my dissertation report to be submitted!’
‘Oh, so you mean to say you cant even spare 5 min each day!’
SLAP!!!! THINK.. THINK.. THINK…. ! Fail……
‘Sorry… Its just been sheer ignorance. I’l make sure I’l write one soon…’
‘Yes dear, a blog is an expression of your thoughts… it hardly takes any time to write a post. And don’t worry, time will make things better. God sometimes tests the best of the students. Don’t stop blogging because it is the best medium to express yourself and whenever you write anything, you do write well!!!

I was flattered!!! Its been a long time I’ve received praises! A good word, especially in your bad time, especially from such a successful person, especially from someone outside your family, is like rejuvenation!

I sat back, promising that I will capture my thoughts, feelings and interests and share them with anybody and everybody online, whether they are interested in them or not. This blog would serve as fertile ground for my experiment in reflective practice.

What can (could) I (have) do (done) better? I can censor myself less by writing in a manner that more closely resembles my spoken voice. There is little that is not public, and maintaining a personal blog is one way to own my (virtual) identity. Restated in a positive way, I can be more authentic and self-identified.

Thank You mentor as those inspiring words were one of the reasons to bring me back to life!